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Thoughts From A Studio Gardener

I can explain my artist journey as a gardener might. You see, over 25 years ago, I planted and still care for a studio garden. Sometimes I paint well, but there is always the weeds of weak paintings and I will always have to pull them from the garden.

When I recollect the amount of time and work involved as a studio gardener, what surfaces is years of days, of struggling with a painting that was almost finished and then doing some random, unknown thing that ruined it. So many nights I'd collapse on the floor in a heap, most of the time, crying because I killed a great painting. I ruined it, it left me, I lost what I had...I'm not good enough...I'll never get there.

But the next day, I went back to the easel.

Still, I wanted better outcomes to happen quickly with my painting. Desperate to discover secrets, I eagerly went to hear real artists describe their process and hovered in as they demonstrated prowess. I took copious notes - sure that I'd be painting a masterpiece the next day. No good outcome followed.

Then I thought of books. With each book purchased, was the hope of discovering the secrets of making great art. So much hope became so much failure. But always waiting in the studio garden was the easel and long-learned practice. This took hours of years, but now I have my process, my style. It was never just about finding the secrets.

In my studio garden, I examine the day's work. Does the painting show my process and style? If not, then what matters is the failed painting is weeded and added to the unseen hours of learned practice. I weed the studio garden for my patrons both current and future. For my reputation both now and later and to keep the pathways to the best paintings uncluttered.

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